It is a bad thing. The only good here is what people have made within it.
They were terrible. And they had to be stopped. I don't...I don't think you had any other choice.
[She paused. This was not what she was good at. She wasn't as sure about what she was good at anymore.]
Of course you could do it again. Because it gets easier. It's why I've...why I've tried so hard. Because I killed my Uncle, even if I didn't...I had to do it. He couldn't be stopped otherwise, bound to the god of chaos Vaatu as he was - but I knew what would happen.
And I've seen it happen for others, making that choice once - and then...it all ended in trying to destroy a whole city, just to realize a vision, with the most terrible weapon ever devised. Each step on the way was just a choice, each time getting easier.
[She leaned forward, face looking far more tired than a woman of twenty-one ought to. Or usually did.]
You have to guard against that, now. Whatever comes, and whatever you become. As for coping...it never goes away. Not fully. I was a wreck, Luz. Bits of the poison lingered in my body and I...I had no idea what to do and I just...retreated.
It took me three years to come to terms with my torture. To be able to pull that last poison out of myself? To look my torturer in the eye without...rage and pain? That took longer still.
But...I made mistakes. I didn't...talk about it. In the end, I wrote to Asami. She...Spirits, she got me back to being me and I'll love her forever for that. Just...talking about my feelings, as they happened, day by day.
I don't know what meaning that has to you. I don't know what meaning any of what I say will have. Heh...you're free to run out of here and never talk to me again. But you can't let yourself run from this, and it will be very tempting to do it.
no subject
They were terrible. And they had to be stopped. I don't...I don't think you had any other choice.
[She paused. This was not what she was good at. She wasn't as sure about what she was good at anymore.]
Of course you could do it again. Because it gets easier. It's why I've...why I've tried so hard. Because I killed my Uncle, even if I didn't...I had to do it. He couldn't be stopped otherwise, bound to the god of chaos Vaatu as he was - but I knew what would happen.
And I've seen it happen for others, making that choice once - and then...it all ended in trying to destroy a whole city, just to realize a vision, with the most terrible weapon ever devised. Each step on the way was just a choice, each time getting easier.
[She leaned forward, face looking far more tired than a woman of twenty-one ought to. Or usually did.]
You have to guard against that, now. Whatever comes, and whatever you become. As for coping...it never goes away. Not fully. I was a wreck, Luz. Bits of the poison lingered in my body and I...I had no idea what to do and I just...retreated.
It took me three years to come to terms with my torture. To be able to pull that last poison out of myself? To look my torturer in the eye without...rage and pain? That took longer still.
But...I made mistakes. I didn't...talk about it. In the end, I wrote to Asami. She...Spirits, she got me back to being me and I'll love her forever for that. Just...talking about my feelings, as they happened, day by day.
I don't know what meaning that has to you. I don't know what meaning any of what I say will have. Heh...you're free to run out of here and never talk to me again. But you can't let yourself run from this, and it will be very tempting to do it.