avatar_state | IC INBOX \ House Details (Deerington)

Yeah, but you didn't have to, you know?

[She smiled, then hopped up on Naga].

Yes, please.

Maybe. [She swung up behind Luz, taking the reins.]

But even then I'd have wanted to, so. Yip, yip!

[And Naga was up on her feet and off at a gentle lope.]

Thanks.

[Luz had a question to ask, but for right now she'd just ride with Korra. It was honestly good to just get out of house and feel less apprehensive].

Fun!

[And, since she was as always concerned for Luz' mental health, she'd make it worth her time, too, ultimately encouraging Naga into a full run for the last portion of the journey, like a fast, furry battle tank.]

Best part? It never stops being fun.

Really wish I could take you up in the sky with me when I'm on Eda's staff, but there's not any room. You're too buff.

[Which, as far as Luz was concerned, was not a bad thing].

Where are we going?

[She laughed at that.]

Well, if I'm gonna have a problem, that's a good one, at least...and you said you wanted to come over, and I just got the place fixed up after the drop, so! That's where we're headed.

[Poor Luz had forgotten already].

Oh, right, the earthquakes and stuff. You didn't have to deal with any of those crazy worms, did you?

[That brought out a nod.]

Oh, yeah, lots of them. Toasted them good, too. I mean, others like Vira-Lorr helped, too, which made it even easier. But yeah, I went through them like nothing.

[She's pretty proud about that part, actually.]

Felt pretty good to, y'know, actually help by thinning out their numbers.

I'm not surprised! I met one by accident though. Pretty freaky stuff.

Oh, Vira helped? I should have known she would.

Yeah. Well. They weren't the only things that needed thinning numbers.

[She is aware, and that's possibly a big hint.]

So people are saying. Wish I'd known at the time.

[Brings her mood down quite a bit, but it also reminds her why she's doing this tonight. And she's quiet for a long while, as they approach the house, and Naga slows her pace.]

Good girl, Naga. Thank you.

[Oh, did she know? Maybe they hadn't gone after them. It was possible they'd only targeted young, seemingly defenseless kids.

Which only revolted Luz even more].

You're great Naga.

[Luz nuzzled Naga a moment, just to show she was grateful for the ride].

[More that she'd heard things, in passing. Once again, happening frustratingly elsewhere.]

[She stretched a little as they approached her house, sighing.]

So have you eaten? Do you need anything else? I've got some of that popping corn, I think? Found it last time I went scrounging.

[She knows there's something on Luz's mind. But it's Korra. She can't not try to care for someone.]

[She could understand that. Some things went unseen, she knew that happened even on her end. Unfortunately, Luz did not happen to skip that part].

I haven't eaten yet, no. I don't think I ought to though. I don't think it would be a good idea.

[Not with what she had to talk about].

[She reaches out a hand to gently lay on Luz's shoulder, sensing at least some of it.]

Ok.

[It's all that needs saying as she opens the door, letting her enter first, followed by herself, with Naga bringing up the rear, immediately moving to a soft pile of blankets, turning two circles, and making herself comfortable.]

Ah. Nice.

[Which normally would have sounded way more enthusiastic, with Luz doing her usual grinning and making up stories, but now she was unfolding a kurigami onesie that Usagi had lent her, looking up at Korra].

I wanted to ask you something, and its a strange thing, but it stuck out before, and its relevant to me now. What happened when you were...tortured?

[She's barely shut the door before that lands like a bomb. She's immediately down on her knees, hands on Luz's shoulders, looking her over for telltale signs.]

Why...did...what happened? Are you ok?

[It's ninety percent concern for someone who she cares about - but also, she needs...just a little bit of time before she can answer that.]

[She's cleaned up, but if you look you can see bruises around her neck and arms, and there are more but those are covered since, obviously, Luz is not about to advertise she'd been in a situation where she got more than her fair share of cuts].

A little while ago, I got all tangled up with this rope. Like, once you touched it it wouldn't let you go, got tighter as you got desperate. I got cut out, but I wondered if it belonged to someone. Turns out it did: a bunch of these mountain guys in caves who come out to hunt.

They hunt Sleepers. They...they eat them.

[She immediately gathered Luz up in a close - but careful - hug. She'd encountered the rope thing twice, and just thought it was magical.]

Oh, Luz, I'm...I'm so sorry.

[And she just keeps her close.]

They didn't, obviously, but I sure felt like I was going to be gone for what seemed like hours. They took their time and. And they liked me being in pain.

[She turned away here, trying to hide her face because she knew she'd give herself away. When Korra approached Luz leaned into the hug, taking a big breath. She was going to hate, HATE this part, but it was something she needed to ask].

How...I mean...how did you deal with your tormentors? The ones that poisoned you?

[She sighed, deeply, standing up and gently resting a hand on Luz's head for a moment. Then she made her way to her couch and flopped heavily onto it, eyes focused on the middle distance. She hated having to even think about Zaheer and his Red Lotus.]

I wanted to kill all of them. [She finally says, reticence clear in her voice.] The one was already dead...she died trying to kill my friends, and I thought they'd killed my father, so...yeah.

They...put this metallic poison into me. It was meant to force out the Avatar State, so they could kill me in it an end the Avatar forever, not just having me reincarnate, as was usual. And the more I fought it, the more it hurt...this liquid metal in my blood.

Honestly, I might have killed the man who did it, but the poison and the fight that followed left me in a wheelchair and...pretty badly traumatized. It took me three years to recover. More, really.

My friends defeated the others. To this day I don't know what I would have done, if I could have done it.

[Okay, it helped to hear Korra FELT like killing them, knowing that this feeling in her stomach was lessening but not gone, still sinking her in, enough that Luz would wonder if anyone would ever look at her the same way. But Luz also knew this was making her crazy: how could it not]?

That sounds awful. They were going to just sit and watch you die? Just so they could destroy the chance that someone could help others with their exposure to the elements? That's...unthinkable.

You were lucky you had your friends. You'd probably be too weak to fight them.

Would you have felt bad about killing them?

[She patted the spot next to her, languidly.]

I don't like people dying. It's not what the Avatar is supposed to be about. My uncle...died when I defeated him. Corrupt though he was, bonded to the god of chaos as he was...I still wish I didn't have to do what I did.

[She leans her head back, closing her eyes.]

He's still alive. The man who tortured me. We even...came to a peace, sort of. But just thinking about it always gets me, even years later.

[Her head lolled to face Luz.]

I wish I could tell you better than that. It hurts, no matter what.

[So she still hadn't killed. Luz stared at Korra a moment, giving the older girl a sad smile].

That's good. I mean, that you never had to do it. You're the avatar, people look up to you. An avatar ideally would be free from doing something to end a life.

[Luz stared at her hands a moment, then it was less staring, but that Luz fixed her eyes to that spot. She needed to say what she was going to say without having a panic attack or swallow a stammer].

When they had me in the cave, I'm not sure how long it was. But there were times where I was just tortured, cut and tasted and mocked and hit. They saw me at my worst, and they laughed, savoring the time until they'd finally use all of my fear and pain and finish the job.

Margot came though. She came for me and attacked them, and I helped her avoid getting hurt. She got me out, but I didn't go home. I knew they were still down there, plotting another abduction and torture and feasting. I couldn't let it happen.

So I didn't.

[Not with her own two hands. She hadn't strangled the life out of her Uncle - but she'd killed him, all the same, when she'd defeated the chaos god Vaatu. And people kept dying around her.]

[But she groaned, knowing what was coming as the story unfolded.]

You killed them.

I mean, I had help, but yeah. We had to combine all of our efforts to take them out. I'll admit I should have gone home as soon as I was freed, but all I could see in my mind was them torturing me in that cave, and seeing them do that to someone else.

But another part of me? I hated them more than I ever hated anyone. So we went after them and I made sure they wouldn't ever try to hunt us again.

I never felt like that about people, not even the Emperor back on the Isles. I'm scared of myself, being that way. I feel like I tricked myself into doing this, and if that's possible, what else would I do?

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

How did I wind up doing that again?!

I doubt I would have noticed, so it's going around. :P

Re: I doubt I would have noticed, so it's going around. :P

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject